I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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