the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
