Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
