Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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