so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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