i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
