All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
