we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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