no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
