Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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