meet me or not, i'm out of control
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
