I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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