I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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