so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
