Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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