Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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