I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You dont lie about slip and slides
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
