We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
