Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
