it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
