But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
