ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the condom got lost in my hair
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
