how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I think I just shit out all my problems.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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