I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
