I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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