I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
