you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
