yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
i think im in europe. pls send help
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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