Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
