fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize