i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
