Soap is not a condiment
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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