my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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