your thong is hanging out like whoa
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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