theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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