i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
