I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
