It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
