I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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