i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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