She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
