You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
