hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
