4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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