guys are not supposed to queef...right?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
