all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize