My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You dont lie about slip and slides
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
