i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
