Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
