I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My dick has a subreddit
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
