your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
