My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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