Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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