I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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