wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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