I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize