So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I think my moral compass just broke
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