remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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