I'm lost and stupid without you.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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