they need to just BURY HIM!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
