Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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