he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
